Niba uri umukobwa cyangwa umudamu, ukaba ubabara igihe uri gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina, hari uko wakwitwara ntuzongere kubabara.Niba utekereza ko igitsina cy’umugabo kinanirwa guca mu cy’umugore kubera ubunini bwacyo aha ho sibyo kuko umutwe w’igitsina cy’umugabo ntiwaba uruta umutwe w’umwana ubasha gucamo avuka, menya impamvu.
Biragoye cyane kubasha kumenya uko imibonano mpuzabitsina yagenze neza kandi irimo ibyishimo imera, keretse ku wigeze kuyikora akaryoherwa; ibi ntawakwirwa abishidikanyaho.
Nk’uko bitangazwa n’urubuga Topsante, Hari abakobwa n’abagore bamwe bababara cyane iyo bakora imibonano mpuzabitsina, ku buryo kuri bo kuyikora aba ari nko kwiyahura cyangwa kwigirizaho.
Mbere y’uko twinjira kuri iyi ngingo, reka tubanze turebe imiterere y’igitsina gore kugira ngo tuze kubasha kureba uko ubu buribwe bwakwirindwa.
Kugira ngo ibi ubimenye neza, fata indorerwamo uyishyire ahagana hasi, hanyuma ubeyureho (wigizeyo) imishino y’igitsina cyawe, uzabona uko imwe n’imwe mu myanya ndangagitsina y’imbere yawe iteye.
Hejuru gato hari rugongo, igizwe n’akugara k’uruhu gato kabyimbye. Hari igihe kaba katagaragara na mba cyangwa kakaba kagaragara igice kubera indi myanya igatwikiriye.
Ukomeje kubeyura, imbere hari imigoma, itwikiriye akobo gasohokeramo inkari. Munsi ya kano kobo hari akenge k’inda ibyara
Akenge k’inda ibyara ( hari igihe kaba gatwikiriweho gato n’akugara k’umubiri gato bita urutezo . Urutezo ni akugara akenshi kaba karemwe nk’igice cy’ukwezi, gatwikiriye igice cyo hasi cy’ubwinjiriro bw’inda ibyara. Akenshi aka kugara kavaho iyo umukobwa akoze imibonano mpuzabitsina ye ya mbere.
Kubera ukuntu aka kugara kaba koroshye, iyo umukobwa akoze imibonano mpuzabitsina isanzwe kandi yateguwe, bituma agira uburyaryate ariko butagera ku kigero cyo kuba yakumva ababara cyane ndetse rimwe na rimwe kuri iyi mibonano ya mbere umukobwa ashobora kuva uturaso tutari twinshi gusa hari n’igihe utu turaso tutava.
Ubusanzwe igitsina cy’umugore kigaragiwe n’inyama zisa nk’izikubakubye ariko iyo umukobwa cyangwa umudamu yashyutswe, izi nyama zirarekura igitsina cye kikaba kinini (kikabyimba). Uko igitsina cy’umugabo cyaba kingana kose ntibyakibuza kwinjira mu cy’umugore.
Igitsina cy’umugore kandi gifite ubushobozi bwo gukweduka; umutwe w’umwana ugacamo mu gihe umugore ari kubyara. Ni yo mpamvu igihe cyose abakundana babiri (couple) bumva ko ikibazo cy’ingano by’ibitsina byabo ari cyo gituma umwe ababara mu gihe cy’imibonano mpuzabitsina, ntibiba ari byo.
Impamvu z’uburibwe ahubwo zareberwa ahandi. Niba umukobwa atinya gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina cyangwa bikaba ngombwa ko mugenzi we w’umuhungu yinjiza ahata igitsina cye mu gihe cy’imibonano mpuzabitsina, ibi biba bisobanura ko kidafite ububobere buhagije kubera ko iyo umukobwa yashyukwe bya nyabyo, igitsina cye kirekura ururenda kuburyo icy’umugabo kibasha kwinjira neza. Iyo bitameze gutya, umukobwa arababara.
Ikindi gishobora guteza ububare ni uko inyama zigaragiye igitsina hari ubwo ziba zigifuganye bigatuma mu gihe habaye imibonano mpuzabitsina umukobwa agira ububabare cyangwa se igitsina cy’umuhungu kikanga kwinjira.
Iyo bimeze gutya, umugabo ashobora kwisanga arimo asa nk’ujomba ku gikuta gikomeye kitamwemerera kwinjiza igitsina cye mu cya mugenzi we. Ibi nabyo byatera ububabare.
Indi mpamvu ishobora guteza ibibazo by’uburibwe ni igihe umwe mu bayikora yumva atiteguye. Ushobora kuba wumva igihe cyo kuyikora kitaragera cyangwa utanyuzwe n’uwo mugiye kuryamana.
Iki gihe ubwonko bwawe ntabwo bushobora gutanga itegeko ryo kurekura imisemburo ituma imibonano mpuzabitsina igenda neza. Ubushakashatsi bwakorewe hirya no hino ku isi bwagaragaje ko umubare w’abakobwa n’abagore benshi utaryoherwa n’imibonano mpuzabitsina keretse iyo bayikorana n’umuntu bakundana bya nyabyo (rimwe na rimwe ndetse biba byiza iyo bamaranye igihe kinini).
Ni ngombwa rero ko igihe ukora imibonano mpuzabitsina ubanza kwitegura neza, ukumva ko umubiri wawe witeguye iki gikorwa kugira ngo mwembi muryoherwe.
Inyigisho nk’izi ni ingenzi ku bashakanye cyangwa se abari mu nzira yo kurushinga, kubatarashaka bagirwa inama yo kwirinda kwishora mu busambanyi kuko bahuriramo n’ingaruka nyinshi nko gutwara inda zitateguwe,kwandura indwara zandurira mu mibonano mpuzabitsina VIH/SIDA,imitezi,…
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Gentille Kamikazi/Bwiza.com
